The Battlestar Galactica finale could have been much, much worse

Let me show you.

01) Galactica finds a new world, but the Cavil-led Cylons find them. The Rag Tag Fugitive Fleet and the Cylon forces gather high above the planet. "Open fire!" Adama and Cavil yell simultaneously -- cut to black. Credits.

02) Hera has been abducted. Adama leads his forces in a rescue mission, with lots of noise and fury...and painful results all around. Just as everything looks lost, Hera, the child of a Cylon and a Human, starts to glow...she's a Starchild! With her Starchild super powers in hand, Cavil is easily defeated, and things fixed. Glowing, the Starchild leads them all to a habitable planet.

03) The RTFF ends up at a new world. Landing, they investigate and discover that there's a small population already there. To their horror they discover that this isn't primitive hominid life-forms but the exiled detritus of the galaxy -- telephone sanitizers, beauticians, phonebook ad salesmen, etc. Louis Armstrong's "What A Wonderful World" plays as Adama (in a bathrobe) and Tigh wander about. [There's actually a nod to Hitchhiker's Guide in the finale -- look at what Romo Lampkin is wearing.]

04) Everybody except for Kara and Lee gets wiped out, but Kara and Lee make it to a habitable planet, which remarkably resembles a big beautiful garden. Yes, they're Adam and Eve! [Also getting a bit of a nod in the finale, in the tag.]

05) In the tag, the Angels are joined by a mysterious new figure as "Purple Haze" starts to play -- it's the Cylon God, played by Dirk Benedict! [This was actually the plan for "Kobol's Last Gleaming" and I can see it being mooted again...shot down because Dirk Benedict is pissed that Starbuck was turned into a woman in the reboot.]

06) All hell's breaking loose in the battle between the RTFF and the Cylons -- when the Lightship finally appears. Starbuck and Apollo are taken aboard and given shiny white uniforms. Kara is finally revealed as having become a Being Of Light.

07) Galactica arrives at Earth in the present day. Still pursued by the Cylons, they set up as the secret defender of the planet. Kara and Lee lead a special group that uses special fliers that morph into motorcycles. Every week Brother Cavil has a new devious plan that ends up narrowly averted.

08) Starbuck (Dirk Benedict) wakes up screaming in the sick bay of Galactica. "I had the craziest frakkin' dream," he tells Apollo (Richard Hatch.)

09) Battling the Cylon colony around the black hole, the Galactica ends up falling across the event horizon. Mysteriously, rather than being destroyed, everybody ends up in what appears to be either heaven or the sets of Pushing Daisies.

I could probably think of more but I'm going to bed to try and sleep....